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cisillus_f
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Name: fausha
Country: Malaysia
Metro: Kuala Lumpur
Gender: Female
Interests: smiling,being happy,friends! <3,shopping,clothes,black black hair,cute n colourful stuffs,interesting info,gossip,sleeeep zzZ and love! are some of the things im interested in =)
Expertise: laughing! singing! being plain silly!
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Yahoo:  far1289@yahoo.com
Member Since:
4/27/2006
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| i need to jog...NO i need to run, i need to sweat i need to do something.
there is some sort of undesirable feeling pent up inside of me and i dont know what do. im sick of feeling cold and feeling lonely even when im in a room full of people and im sick of eating OMG. and im sick of bundling myself with clothes and im sick of all these unfortunate events happening to me and to my friends. and i miss my sayangs even though ive already seen some of them a few times already and im missing those who i havent or will not be able to see till next year much much more. and i miss my family and i miss laughing, fighting or just plain being with them.
i think im finally really homesick.
i dont know why im in such a weird mood. maybe its because i cant get anywhere with my essay. maybe its because the cold is getting to me. maybe its the auntie rosie effect. maybe i've had too many chocolates.
i miss gossiping with my sister while snacking on junk. i miss poking and prodding my brother and acting like he is still a baby. i miss my mum being all funny and cute and i even miss my dad's seriousness and the occasional joke.
i miss caring for people and i miss people taking care of me. [sounds so spoiled, i know]
i made a mistake yesterday afternoon, but i couldnt help myself. then something was said and the whole rest of the day was filled with wonder why it was said. then after that a night full of romantic stars and some shooting ones helped a bit because i love nature so much. and the new friends i made here made me laugh and made me happy and tht was all good. ahhh MicH is such a sweetheart 
but i was taking a break from writing my [stupid] essay and i was doing this quiz on fb and then it reminded me of everything and everyone that i love and i miss. and then the wonder came back and now its making me emo-fied.
and want to run.
i need exercise!! luckily i have karate in half an hour.
make this feeling go away.
sometimes i wish the whole thing never happened. most of the time im glad at how it is now. but seeing whats waved in front of my face [well to me, it's waved in front of my face] is making me feel so ugh.though im just assuming, but what i assume is usually correct, am i right? but im really quite happy to see some progress on the professional side though. sigh. my incapability to purposely be mean to people who im "supposed" to be mean to is starting to annoy. though why should i be mean to these people though? i dont quite understand.
lol im talking in nonsense language. ive been having repeated weird situational dreams again and i want it to stop.
no more masquerade. like ive said before, the word regret is barely there, flickering in existence in my vocabulary. say goodbye and make it easier for me pleasee please pretty please.
goodbye. 
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| heyhey
i just had an hour of rest, finishing a season of this show i found online. it's a typical american high school show, about two sisters who are very different, and it portrays stereotypical american high school characters which will usually make me gag. but its not that bad. too bad it died after 10 episodes (which frankly, is a good thing i think, it would be unbearable if it went on for too long after that)
before that i had lectures and a group meeting for our group work. and now, well after this i mean, im going have to start on my freaking personal tutor essay. which i wished i finished last week. but i guess not all wishes come true 
gahhhh. my lunch or shall i say "lunch" is horrible. i had a banana before lectures then came back had a cheese+serunding toastie and chocolate biscuits with hot milo which doesnt sound all tht bad, but it sure does feel bad. i better watch my eating zomg!
i wish i bought more vege, i want to do noodle stir fry tonight but then i wanna cook bolognese when i get my mince but i wanna use the same vege. ahh dilemma. i've spent waay too much this month already. and it's only halfway thru november OMG!
i went shopping with ellie and tiki on saturday [el came over from brighton] and i bought the nicest coat!its a long winter coat and i cant wait to wear it! except i'll feel it'll be a bit too much if i wear it to classes so maybe i'll just wear it when i go down to london or somethng... i wish i bought this cute blazer thingy i saw at zara...it is super duper cute, i love it!! but i chose the coat over the blazer, because i'll be needing the coat more...but now i wish i have the blazer because im so sick of wearing the same short jacket over and over again...or maybe i shud just settle for a hoodie. i dont know!
oh no. ive stopped craving for shopping and am actually doing it. not good... and im starting to eat nonsense as well! ahhhhh... self restraint, where the hell are you?
i went to check out the new sainsbury's and did a bit of grocery shopping...and then on the way to the bus stop i had to resist with all my might not to go into all those shops i passed... it was so painful *sob sob*
though not as painful as the three bites on my shoulder, where the first two creepily resemble vampire bites. ZOMG i got bitten by a vampireeeee...but seriously. they were just dots a week ago and now all of a sudden they have small scabs in the form of a triangle, and they hurt like mad sometimes. i know i should go to the medic but i dont know. i should have asked the pharmacist in boots that day when i went grocery shopping, but i forgot.
but how stupid can the vampire be? arent you supposed to bite the neck? [omg im so gonna wake up with two more dots on my neck omg]
i have no idea what it really is sigh. i hope it heals soon, i dont wanna go for a night out in a sleeveless/tube with three yucky red dots that look creepy. so far ive just been putting antiseptic and i hope it is actually working.
speaking of nights out...im not sure if i should go for Espionage in London. el is def going for it, i think. told letchumi i'll most prolly be going for it but i dont knowwww. hmm.
****** just had a phone call with jo! london mari~ 
sigh. i was looking at old pictures on facebook. gosh. i cant believe im saying this, but i miss HELP. i miss you college peeps  and i even miss both the libraries and the librarians! who were nice to me sometimes, because i spent so much time there during my last few months. which makes me miss driving there, and that makes me miss driving in general. but i do prefer walking more though. my own legs are more reliable than a huge piece of metal and motors, i think. sometimes when i was in Malaysia, i wished that it was like Australia and UK where u dont really need a car, because public transportation is more reliable and walking is the way to go- everywhere. sigh, i guess the not-so-good experiences i've had with driving made that feeling more apparent in me.
but i really dont mind if other people want to drive me around though
i miss my vivi. i cant wait to get back home and give her a hug now! [am i crazy to be talking like this about my car?]
oh my goodness i should get back to writing that stupid essay. argh i hate essays. i'd rather do 2 hours of biopharm calculations+another 2 hours of just pure chemistry than spend those four hours writing an essay paper.
oh before i go...
ALL THE BEST TOMORROW TO MY BABY BROTHER AND ALL OTHER FORM FIVERS, KICK SOME SPM ASS!!
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| ni hao! im in the library now. yes. at an attempt to try and not get distracted by movies or tv series or FACEBOOK or snacks, i decided to go down to the library and do my work there today. i did get about an hour of work done. i did biopharm calculations again...and its not that bad after all! but im a bit bored of it now and i should start to continue my research on my tutorial essay...but i cant get myself to read article after article..after article. ahhhhhhhh. i think i might go back and take a nap. actually i had something in mind i wanted to blog about, but i forgot what it is. can i be more bimbotic today? oh oh! dui buqi, i've suddenly remembered what i wanted to talk about! there is going to be a Mount Kilimanjaro climb expedition sometime next year and omg it sounds soo exciting!! i want to go for it i want to go for it I WANT TO GO FOR IT. the karate club forwarded the email to all karate club members. and apparently people from other universities are asked to join it too. i hope fuzzy is planning to go for it! it sounds like so much fun omg, and it's for a good cause too,to raise money for underprivileged children. im sure el and jo would want to go for it, after them climbing kinabalu and all that...i feel so excited for it omg! but one thing though. the climb is set on the 15th of June 2010...and it will take about 11 days to complete. that means i will get back to England on or after the 26th of June (approx) and that also means i'll only be able to go back to Malaysia by the end of June/early July. so lama...i miss home. but it is such a good opportunity and i soo should not miss it. i dont want to. i want to go for it!! maybe i'll ask May if she'll be interested. omg! i want to climb a mountain!! kjhdbfkjehfjrnfkandkj if i have a 'I want to do....by the age of....' list, im sure climb a mountain will be on it. but i dont. maybe i should do one. hmm. recently i read about the psychoanalysis of Disney princesses. lol. it was kinda funny but a bit disturbing that we grew up with those sort of values shoved in our face. then i was thinking too much about tht i suddenly remembered what RS started calling me towards the end of the whole thing. haish. i do too much thinking. Tim told me that it might be £7 to use the gym one-off and that's kind of expensive. but then when i went to May's place i bumped into Gemini(?im unsure of her name's spelling) and she told me its only abt £2+ to go for the classes one off. and thts not bad, if i go for aerobics or cycling or something that doesnt need continuation. im in that zone again. the 'i want to be fit-i love exercise' zone. where have you been? i missed you. but i need to put on some weight, then lose it. haha i know this doesnt make sense, but im only talking in half sentences. lol im not making enough sense anymore. im going to pack up and go back and take a nap. zai jian! | | |
| ah. i cant stand Serena's idiocy. seriouslyyyyyyyyy! but i do know now why i love Blair. gosh Serena pls listen to her plssss...even though there will be one less drama in the show, still, i think its quite painful to watch all the idiotic things ur doing. yes i've just caught GossipGirl's latest episode.
Brighton was wonderfullllllllllll!!! but of course there MUST be some sort of adventure for me when i travel RIGHT? sigh story of our lives (as el put it).
well, shhhh dont tell my parents...but i missed my train to brighton. sigh. but i was lucky the cheapest train that day wasnt that expensive and i had rail card! thank goodness for that. but its worth it thoughhhhh!  and im getting used to running for buses/trains
and running in the rain for a good night out at KuKu club was surprisingly quite worth it too! except i couldnt walk after that. haha. i love el's address! 10, the byway...sounds so cool when u say it a lot (which she had to when we were ordering our wraps, apparently the guy was quite deaf and asked her to repeat it a million times.either that or he really likes the address as well..donola] and the people living there too! so much fun man...haha taboo!!
we rock la El. unbeatable in Taboo[against Namit and John]!
and also the adventure we had when i was coming back to Bath. had to rush rush rush and THANKFULLY i did not miss my train back to Bath  . and yes. more running was done for public transportation. thank goodness my bag is a roller!
love ya ellie bellie booooooo..
good thing that happened though..i met such a nice bus driver on the way back to the uni! made my day...i didnt want to walk all the way across the pedestrian mall to the bus stop at the other side of town, so i went to the one nearest to the station, except i wasnt sure if the U18 there head towards the uni. and so i when i board the driver saw my bag, i assume, and asked me if i was headed to the uni. and then he offered to drive me to the correct bus stop...for free!! i was so happy and thankful. it made my day so much better...
hmmm..we had a PSA night out last night...it was okay. wasnt so great though, but it was okay. haha maybe it was because i had such a good night at brighton...woops.
ah. there is something wrong with me..i cant stop snacking!! i told myself the only snacks im allowing myself are fruits and yogurt but then ive been buying crisps and chocolates on offers and what not omg im gonna get fat!!!
no. i wont. well, if i dont exercise and keep up this eating habit, i will. but i wont let it.
i hope those two nights of dancing increased my metabolism. and karate!! omg i love it so much. i always feel so much better after 2hrs of karate! and i've gotten my gi from home, im so excited!!! with my blue belt. hee hee hee. and i want to go for the sparring/kumite competition. come on Lydia! lets go for it!
but i do have to watch my eating habits though. its kinda going downhill and i do realise this, so i have to start cooking properly again. need to get some pasta! and i dont like cooking rice, for some reason. but im changing that though.
one scary fact though...my black skinnies are too loose around my hip area there. and my skirts are loose too [i realised while trying on outfits for monday night clubbing]. and i am not happy. i would go shrink them in the dryer, if it doesnt cost a freaking pound to use it!! [hey need to save wherever i can okay]
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i hate it when clothes, especially bottoms, are loose[unless they are meant to be]. they look so blah when u wear them!
oh oh oh. Michelle gave me some Billy Gilman songs to listen to. so emo but kinda beautiful to hear them...so go listen! search youtube la, you lazy bum! dont have to download. one voice.thats the title...and trust me, it grows on you. it is so sweet, he sang that for his friend who had cancer i think...super sad.
okok, im supposed to be sleeping now man ahhh almost midnight. nighters!
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| hmm. im going to talk about something random. prepare yourself for a GossipGirl guy-fest
all through out season 1 of gossip girl, everyone was gushing about how cute Nate Archibald was. how handsome, how hot. then season 2 came and everyone decided to be different. or shall i say, 'different'. they decided Nate was old news. it was all Chuck Bass....ooohhh smoldering hot Chuck Bass..all naughty and what not. personally though, i never had anything for any of the GG guys. even Dan. Nate is too pretty, Chuck too naughty, Dan too foolish (seriously, he was doing idiotic stuff in season two...and still is! (spoiler coming, for those who havent managed to catch season 3 yet) i mean...making out with psycho head Georgina?!?!? Dan you disappoint me. you should know better, after two seasons)
but mannn. season 3, the guys are looking bet-ter. even Nate, he doesnt seem too pretty anymore. and Dan (i still dont get his idiotic-ness though) is buff in season 3...wooo... but the creme de la creme is Chuck. omg. i so want him for myself. every damn episode he gets hotter and hotter in my eyes. bye bye childish naughty Chuck the boy and hellooooooooooooooo Chuck the man. i swear. who would have thought? he is like every girl's dream, Blair acted out almost-every girl's dream - to turn the bad boy into a loving caring wise lover.
dont u think so girls? i mean hello, the guy has gone from gallivanting, girl-hunting, revenge scheming bastard to a mature, wise, one woman guy, business man. what the hell? how can they make such a perfect character?! i mean yeah so he is still horny and what not. but they make him so...real. like the impossible made possible. no more childish games for him, he wants to really put his name out there in the world, to be known as the Chuck Bass, instead of hanging in the dark of his dad's shadow. and i really respect that in a person.
personally i think he was the only one who actually grew up in the series. because if you notice, everyone else is still the same. still bitch fighting, still scheming, still doing stuff expected only in high school. and the irony, for someone like him who grew up, to be paired to someone like Blair (i love Blair though, even if she can be annoying at times) who most definitely didnt grow up at all. but i love them, as a couple. like, u can tell they really do need each other...that they are good for the other person. imagine seeing a couple like tht. have you ever personally met a couple like tht? i havent.
im so God damned attracted to his character, its getting hard to watch the new episodes without squealing. argh. i like how he always manages to hammer in sense into the other characters' heads. i like how he is working so hard to get his business moving, to make a name for himself. i like how he loves Blair so much even with her childishness, and i like how smart he is. actually i think he and Blair are very smart people. and i like smart people. i've ever only dated smart people.
and i dont only mean academically. [i hate it tht people have that assumption, you're only smart if you get them A's. ive met some people with a string of A's and dont think they're that bright. and ive met people who has never gotten A's in their life yet are the most interestingly smart, and (what's the opposite of ignorant?) people i've ever met. its all about the knowledge you choose to have in your head, people.and how you present it. there is no point of being 'smart' yet ignorant. i should know. i was one of those people [and im not even that smart- and am still very much working on fixing the ignorant part ])
in a way, there are characteristics of Mr. Bass that reminds me of you. that drive. to make a name for yourself. and the street smart way of doing things. oh and ur business/artsy talks. heh. maybe tht's why i chose to go out with you huh? but, well, im not here to talk about you. im here to talk about Chuck Bass. hehe.
damn. now i've joined the group I heart Chuck Bass, and its all the scriptwriter's fault. now im one of the hundreds of thousands of girls who wish they have their very own Chuck Bass in their life. BUT i dont want season 1 and 2's one please, i'll only go for season 3's one. i dont have a thing for konon bad boys - sorry. and recently, i've gone off those "bad boys" who apparently have changed as well[i never knew there were such people]. sigh. [this makes me so angry. i never asked you to change for me. you didnt have to. we could have just been friends.so why did you?please decide properly who you want to be. argh.]
sometimes i think my Chuck might have come and gone. but i refuse to believe tht. though i may have borrowed him for a while, he may not have been mine. hehe. and so my belief is tht i have my very own Mr. Bass somewhere out there...hmmm but im in no hurry to find him yet though.
(gosh 4 hrs straight of doing Biopharm calculations must really have gone up to my head hehe)
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